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Post by jackson on Jan 9, 2009 10:59:55 GMT 10
  JACKSON COLEc r a s h i n t o m e .
There was one word to describe Jackson at this moment. "Mediocre." He had just auditioned for a musical at the university and he did not get the lead part. Because his singing voice was mediocre compared to the asshole that did get it. If Jackson got mad about something, it was usually about his theatrical performances. He never seemed to be good enough. Good enough to get into this school, yes. But positives weren't really on Jackson's mind at the moment. When he was down, he was really down - which was all too often lately. His mother, whom is very close to, was earlier shunned by Jackson on the phone, who said he was busy. In a normal state of mind, he would have dropped anything to talk to his darling mother.
Jackson forced himself out of bed. After lying there for forty minutes, feeling sorry for himself the whole time, he knew he had to get up. He pulled his light wash jeans back on and a dark high collared sweater over his white wife-beater. Grabbing his cellphone off of his oak wood desk, Jackson walked slowly out of his dorm room. Granting a mere smile to those who passed him by in the elevator and the hallways, he finally reached the main doors and entered the chilly outdoors. He couldn't believe the wind today - it probably made the temperature about negative two degrees outside. At least in New York City, the tall buildings and heavy air blocked out most of the wind. Unless he just disregarded it.
He made the long trek to the Mary L. Stringer Theatre. It was "open" for two hours. Open meaning, open for anyone to take the stage and practice or do whatever they wanted. However, with such cold weather and it being a Wednesday afternoon, Jackson knew that the theatre would be deserted. It was dinner time, as well. But he definitely lost his appetite after his singing voice was picked apart and labeled second-best. He kicked a small rock and opened the heavy maple doors to the Theatre. Just as he suspected, it was empty. Save for Miss Hemingway, the girl at the threatre who...well Jackson wasn't exactly sure what she did. He supposed she was there to assist people and she always did the lighting and music things.
"Hey, Miss H. Can you put this on track seven?" The petite middle-aged woman nodded and hurried backstage. Jackson sat in the wooden chair and pulled the microphone down to his level. Miss Hemingway nodded to Jackson and hit "play". The music began and she disappeared again into the depths of the theater. The familiar track caused a wave of emotions to hit Jackson - it was the song he always thought of Paige Roberts when he listened to it.
"You've got your ball, you've got your chain tied to me tight, tie me up again. Who's got their claws in you my friend? Into your heart I'll beat again. Sweet like candy to my soul, sweet you rock, and sweet you roll. Lost for you, I'm so lost for you..." His eyes were closed and the music soared around his ears, while the lyrics flew from his mouth.
CLOSED; PAIGE.
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Post by jessi on Jan 9, 2009 12:22:11 GMT 10
Paige Roberts
Words appeared on the screen so quickly, it was hard to read a sentence before another one started. "Ugh!" A loud, annoyed sigh erupted from her lips as she hit the delete button, whipping out her paragraph. "It's no use! I can't think of anything!" she scowled, and turned the screen off. Paige hadn't been able to concentrate lately. Too many thing were on her mind, detracting her from her work. At this rate, her book would never get finished. She didn't know what exactly was bothering her, she just knew that for the last few weeks her mind had been wondering.
Standing, she stretched and walked over to her closet, ready to change out of her pajamas. Tapping her chin, she looked at the variety of clothes and decided on a pair of black leather pants and a red sequined top. After she changed, she put on her shoes and grabbed her jacket. Walking over to her desk, she grabbed her brush and ran it through her hair a few times to de-tangle it. Paige grabbed her purse, what she printed out of her novel so far, and a pen. It always helped her to calm down when she went back to edit her work. She was sure there would be plenty of mistakes on this one.
Paige walked from her room, saying hello to random people she passed. As she walked her mind wandered. To him. It was hard not to, but she refused to think of his name. If she let that slip, she was afraid to would break her. Taking the elevator she decided to go look around, see who was doing what. Without thinking about, she took her used-to-be usual route the theater. She didn't really even pay attention to where she was going. Paige was so attuned to going to the theater for the past two years, that sometimes she wound up here, not even remembering taking the turn towards it.
She stopped abruptly, just before she got to the doors. That song...that voice. A small smile broke out on her face, and she looked through the window on the door, and there he was. Standing there on stage with such grace. She couldn't bare to take her eyes off him. Jackson. The name she'd refused for so many weeks, just like that, brought to the surface of her memory. Absentmindedly, she opened the door, but stayed i the shadows. She closed her eyes, listening to his voice.
Paige would give anything to spend one more day with him. She tried to step to the side, but just her luck, she tripped over a bucket, spilling her papers everywhere. With a gasp, she cursed under her breath, scrambling to pick up her papers. Hopefully she hadn't made too noise and Jackson wouldn't have noticed. She glanced up at him, for a faint moment, to see what he was doing. Nearly all her papers were together again, but was missing about 4 sheets and she couldn't find them in the dimly lit room. Panic ran through her as a few people backstage saw her. No doubt if they saw her, so would Jackson.
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Post by jackson on Jan 11, 2009 5:39:22 GMT 10
Jackson's head snapped up at the commotion at the front of the auditorium. Not because he was startled or anything. But because he wanted to see if somebody had an accident and needed help. Jackson slid the microphone back into the stand and took a few steps to edge of the stage. But before taking the three stairs down, he caught a glimpse of the seemingly clumsy person's face. Paige Marie Roberts. The first girl he truly loved. But instead of helping her, he stood there, his facing turning cold as ice. He clenched his fingers, his face expressionless, his body stiff as a board and his teeth clenched together so hard that his jaw began to hurt. He wasn't exactly sure if he was surprised or angry. Jackson felt numb. Incredibly numb.
They were over. Their perfect bill was over! But it was all her fault. He could not beat himself up over the fact. The relationship ended because of Paige Roberts. The news-carrier was Kenneth Hurst. Kenneth had came up to Jackson one day as he was walking to Music History class. Jackson had never really spoke to the guy that much - but they were never disrespectful to each other. Kenneth pulled him to the side of the building looking rather concerned. And that's when Jackson's whole world fell apart. Kenneth told him that he saw Paige kissing some other guy and he just wanted him to know "from guy to guy". Jumping to conclusions, Jackson called Paige and told her it was over - no explanation at all. He didn't even care to hear Paige's side of the story. Little did he know that Kenneth was the actual liar in the equation. And now he was dating Holly-Ann - sort of. He liked her. She was attractive. But in the back of Jackson's mind, he knew that Holly-Ann would never be a serious girlfriend, never as special as Paige was to him.
Jackson grasped the high collar of his sweater and tugged it away from his neck. Several seconds of awkward silence had passed since he first spotted Paige. And several emotions wanted to escape him. Many words. He wanted to shout and scream at her so she'd realize just how angry and loathsome Jackson was toward her. He wanted to cry so she'd know how depressed and lonely he was. He wanted to put on a smile and pretend everything was okay and that he wasn't hurt at all. But he just stood there, his body would not let him move. Seeming paralyzed, his eyes locked on her. Unmoving. His hands returned to his sides and froze there. Part of him wished she would walk back out of the theater as quickly as she had walked in.
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Post by jessi on Jan 11, 2009 14:01:31 GMT 10
Paige Roberts
That look on his face. He hated her. Her hated her, and she didn't know why. How could live with the fact that he hated her. Paige could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she held them back. She wouldn't show the hurt in her eyes, even if she couldn't hide it from showing on her face. For a moment, she could take her eyes away from his, frozen in pain. God, what had she done to make him this angry? One day, he'd loved her, and the next he hated her. She'd obviously done something, she just didn't know what.
She could feel her heart stop as she fought to hold her tears back. She would not let him see her cry, not this time. It felt like forever before Miss Hemingway was standing over her, holding out her lost papers. "Miss Roberts? Miss Roberts can I help you?" the lady asked. Suddenly, the world came crashing down over her and she was forced to look up at the woman. It took her a few tries before she could actually form words. "N-no. Um... thank you..." she sighed and took her papers without even so much as a smile. She couldn't make the muscles in her face work long enough to form a smile. Straightening up her stack of now messy papers, she stood and brushed the hair out of her eyes and slowly walked towards the exit.
Reaching her hand out and grabbing the handle, Paige turned her head just enough to get one more look at Jackson before she quickly left the room. As soon as she knew the door was shut and she was a good distance away that they couldn't hear her, she leaned against the wall and sank to the ground. The tears came so hard and fast, she was sobbing before she even hit the floor. Putting her papers on the ground beside her, she hugged her knees to her chest with one arm, and put a hand on her heart with the other to try and calm herself. Paige felt as if she was shattering into a thousand little pieces. The look on his face when he saw her kept running through her mind, and she had begun to feel as though she were hyperventilating.
What on earth had she done? The look of despise on his face was proof enough that she'd screwed up in a major way.
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Post by jackson on Jan 12, 2009 6:50:12 GMT 10
He watched as Miss Hemingway helped his ex-girlfriend pick up her things. In normal circumstances he might have felt a little guilty for not helping a lady in distress. But he felt barely any emotion. Then it all happened so incredibly fast. Paige was up from the floor with her things in her hands, she glanced at him. The glance that felt like it lasted for hours. Days. Then she was gone just as quickly as she came. Jackson paused for a long moment and began to move his feet briskly down the center aisle of the theater. Nodding to Miss Hemingway, Jackson opened the double doors and the fluorescent lights of the hallway blinded him for a minute. He shook it off, even though he felt like a million cameras just flashed at him, and looked to his right and then to his left. Figuring Paige had already made it down the hallway and out of sight, Jackson turned to go back in, but then he heard a faint sob. There, a few yards away from him, sat Paige slumped against the wall, her head in her hands.
This sight, of course, made Jackson feel rather crumby. And his gentleman-instincts came forth while he made his way down the hallway toward the sobbing, upset girl. With their history, Jackson couldn't keep hating her. They could be friends, if she wanted to. But to be together again? Jackson could not do that. He couldn't trust her with his heart anymore - she had already broken it once. "Want to talk?" As he crouched down beside her, about three dozen people started to swarm the theater lobby - he had forgot that Drama Club sign-ups were today and were taking place in the lobby. Jackson did not need to worry about signing up, he had been a part of the club since sign-ups his freshman year.
Jackson stood up to give Paige some room, but didn't really give her a chance to answer his first question. "We should go in the theater." Without waiting for her, he made his way through the crowd and grabbed the handle of the door, pulling it open. He stepped inside, thankful for the peacefulness and the darkness of the vast room.
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Post by jessi on Jan 12, 2009 9:22:13 GMT 10
Paige Roberts
At the sound of his voice, Paige froze. Her sobbing stopped, and she just listened. She couldn't even look up at him. Why had he come after her? It's ok Paige. It's going to be alright. You'll see. He might yell at you, but at least he can't break you any more than he already has. Right? she thought, completely confused as to why he was talking to her. She could hear the bustle of the people starting to form in the lobby, and then he left. As soon as she heard the door to the theater, her head snapped up and she stared wide eyed after him. Did that really just happen?
Quickly, Paige wiped her tears and took a moment to calm herself and look at least partly sane. With a sigh, she gathered her things, stood, and slowly walked into the theater. For a moment, she just stayed by the door and looked at her feet. Setting her things in a near by chair, she looked around for Jackson. Once she spotted him, she bit her lip, terrified by what the on-coming conversation would bring. She hesitated for a moment and then made her way toward him. For some reason, she had a bad feeling that this would end horribly. Distance was good, or at least it seemed safer. She stopped a few feet away from him, her arms hugging her chest, as if trying to hold herself together.
She just looked at him, trying to find the answer on his face. Holly-Ann was a lucky girl, to have him. That girl better know what a great guy she has and do everything in her power to keep him. If she hurt him, well, let's just say Paige would get involved in the situation rather quickly. She didn't want to see him hurt anymore. She wanted him to be happy. Finally, Paige looked away, biting on her lower lip, something she did when she was extremely nervous.
Paige tried to conjure up enough courage to speak. When she finally did, it wasn't more than a whisper. "What do we have to talk about Jackson? You've already broken up with me for no reason, no explanation, and now you're with Holly-Ann. What more could you possibly want from me?" her voice, filled with hurt, cracked as she tried to hold back her pain. Then, as if on cue, a single tear rolled down her check. A perfect example of them pain he'd caused her. Now, here they were. The sound of his voice is what was holding her together. She'd gotten to here that amazing voice of his, but she knew it wouldn't last forever. Her memories didn't do him justice.
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Post by jackson on Jan 15, 2009 12:57:47 GMT 10
JACKSON COLEc r a s h i n t o m e .
Jackson bit his bottom lip tenderly. It was something he did when he was nervous or anxious. Sometimes, like before a big important audition, he would practically chew it raw. Burt's Bees lip balm always made a good cure for that, but he always ended up chewing it again, interrupting the healing process. Lately, Jackson had a better handle on that. It made his lip an embarrassing bright red color and walking into a small audition room where he was just feet away those who would judge him, he would rather the first thing they notice be his amazing acting ability - not his cherry-colored, raw lip. But now, with something seemingly more important than an audition coming any second behind him, his habit kicked into high gear.
And apparently, as Jackson remembered, Paige had the same habit. He had forgotten until this moment. Just as Jackson was about to say something, Paige beat him to it. Shocked at the hostility of her words, Jackson took a couple of steps backward. But he threw his hands after regaining composure. "You didn't exactly chase after me, did you?" Jackson snapped, now instantly angry at her. His voice was raised, and Jackson bit his lip to remind himself that loud voices echoed and traveled in the theater. Miss Hemingway was probably going to write a play on the dramatics of Paige and Jackson. "Too busy, I suppose." He added with a murmur, a hint of hatred and spite in his low voice.
There were so many thoughts running through Jackson's mind. For one, how could she not KNOW already why he broke up with her? Secondly, how dare she bring Holly-Ann into this. And thirdly - his face softened at this one - he knew that she needed to talk to him. Her tears. She cried because of him, because she saw him. And Jackson could not just leave her sitting there all alone.
CLOSED; PAIGE.
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Post by jessi on Jan 15, 2009 14:07:54 GMT 10
Paige Roberts
As he raised his voice, she automatically took a step back. He'd never yelled at her before, and it frightened her. She watched as he chewed on his lip, and thought about smiling. One of the many things they had in common, and one of the many reasons why she loved him. But she thought better of it and stared at him, shocked by his words. "I wanted to. Oh, Jackson I wanted so bad. I wanted to run to you the second you hung up on me that day. I wanted to ask what I'd done wrong, and hold you and tell you how much I loved you. I wanted nothing more than to be with you and make everything right again...." her voice trailed off as she choked back her tears.
No! She would not cry in front of him anymore. She couldn't let herself be so vulnerable anymore. Paige looked into his eyes as she fought with herself, trying to find the right words to say. Never, had she thought it would be this hard, and yet still feel so good to see him again. With a loud sigh, she looked away, running a hand through her hair and gnawing on her bottom lip until it was slightly pink. When she looked back at him, she could no longer hide her pain. "And I would have, had I not heard that you never wanted to see my face again. That you hated me. All I wanted was you, and to make you happy. So I did what I thought you wanted. I stayed away, as hard as it was, I stayed away." Closing her eyes, she forced herself to stop talking.
Paige ran both hands through her hair, pulling it over to one side. When she looked at him again, her eyes were clouded over. She wanted to tell him. More than anything she wanted to tell him. I'm still in love with you Jackson. I am and always will be. But she knew she couldn't. She could feel a set of eyes on her, and looked to her left. Miss Hemiingway was sitting by the stage, staring at the two.
No doubt this dramatic scene was giving her ideas. She couldn't take her eyes off of him for long, afraid this might be some sad twisted dream and she would wake up any minute and realize she hadn't heard his beautiful voice, and hadn't seen his beautiful face.
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Post by jackson on Jan 16, 2009 13:10:43 GMT 10
JACKSON COLEc r a s h i n t o m e .
Jackson pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes. This was too much. This was way too much for him to handle right now. He had another audition in two days. He was meeting Holly-Ann for dinner in three hours. He could not do this right now. Nothing had prepared him for this. He did not know what to say to her. No, he knew what he wanted to say. He just did not know how to say it. Running his fingers through his hair, Jackson looked back up at Paige. He felt he couldn't take this anymore. He had to leave. But, instead, he did the exact opposite.
It took only one long stride before Jackson reached Paige. Then he was standing there, looking at her, for what seemed like hours. Seconds that felt like years. He forcefully grabbed the sides of her head and leaned down to kiss her. When his lips pressed against hers, Jackson's world melted away. He had missed Paige, missed her so badly. And for that moment, he had forgotten what she had done to him. What they had gone through, that they were not even together anymore.
But then, just as soon as he had forgotten, he remembered again. Breaking away from Paige, he took a few steps back, keeping his eyes on the floor. He had a girlfriend. "I'm sorry." He murmured. "I have a girlfriend. That was wrong." Jackson's words were not necessarily aimed at Paige. More so, he was trying to convince himself that it was wrong - that it felt wrong. Shoving his hands into his jean pockets, Jackson lifted his eyes and looked at her. His eyes were full of sorrow, grief, and regret.
Though, he had wanted it. Without realizing it, Jackson had needed to kiss her. Needed to feel a part of her against a part of him. But he was not exactly sure if this was closure, or if he wanted to be with her again. Confusion filled his head and Jackson leaned against the raised stage.
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Post by jessi on Jan 16, 2009 14:24:18 GMT 10
Paige Roberts
It all happened so quickly, she'd hardly even had the time to blink. As soon as his hands held her face in place, and his lips pressed against hers, her eyes went wide with shock. Though it didn't take long, and she melted. Her eyes closed and she kissed him back, her hands on his chest. Paige could feel her knees buckled beneath her and had to use all her strength to keep from falling. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest, going crazy. It felt as though, at any minutes, it would explode from her chest.
This one kiss, this one unforgettable kiss, seemed to last forever rather than just a few moments. As he stepped away, her eyes remained closed and she bit her lip. That kiss, had told her everything she needed to know. He wanted her back to, just as bad as she wanted him. They both knew it, there was no denying it. His words broke into her thoughts and made her open her eyes. She couldn't do anything but look at him, dazed. He was.....apologizing? Why? Why on earth would he apologize-- Her thoughts were cut off mid thought, at the mention of him having a girlfriend.
She couldn't help but wrinkle her nose, in that cute way she always had when something disgusted her. Her expression softed and she stepped closer to him, close enough that she could feel the warmth from his body. "Don't do that. Don't say you're sorry. We both want this. Don't we? Jackson I...I love you, don't you see that?" Her hand touched his arm lightly, while the other pulled one of his hands from his pockets and held it in hers.
Paige gazed at him, her eyes never leaving his. Her eyes overflowing with love, compassion, want. The moment his lips had touched hers, she knew she had to have him back. She just wasn't sure how she wold do that yet. "Tell me something. And please be honest. Do you miss me? Even just alittle bit?" She asked, her voice low, only able for him to hear. Paige was terrified of what the answer would be. If he didn't miss her, then she would go in peace...or pieces rather.
All he had to do was tell her he never wanted to talk to her again, and she would go. Whatever made him happy, as he was happy. Anything, to make him happy. That was her decision. She would do whatever it took to make him happy. Of that she was sure.
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Post by jackson on Jan 17, 2009 12:23:05 GMT 10
JACKSON COLEc r a s h i n t o m e .
She still loved him. But she cheated on him! Jackson bit his lip, harder. Of course he still loved her, but he felt she did not deserve to hear those three magical words come from his mouth. Maybe she should have thought of that. Jackson though, angrily. But then he melted. She touched him, came closer. He could smell the sweet smell of her hair.
"I do, Paige. I do. I miss you." Jackson's voice had a slight break in it, a sure sign he was choking up a little bit. He was just so overwhelmed and confused, but he could not cry. Would not. This would weak moment would pass and Jackson would gain control of himself and... Jackson looked away from her. Broke eye contact. There was a wooden tile on the floor that was darker than all the others, and that was what Jackson focused on as the seconds passed.
The boy knew what he needed right now. He needed to talk to Catherine Fairfax, his best friend. She always knew just what to say to him and she always gave the best advice in what to do in any situation. Jackson was always totally lost in what to say to girls. Though he was not sure she particularly wanted him to date Holly-Ann. Well, sometimes he wants her advice, but does not listen to her. Sometimes.
"I can't do this. We can't do this right now." Looking at back at her one last time, he let his eyes lingered on hers, and then walked past her. He could not take this right now. Jackson opened the heavy doors to the theater with unnecessary force and then he was gone. Out of the building, across the courtyard. Gone.
The moment was over before it really even began. He was sure they would be talking again soon enough, but for now, Jackson had to clear his head.
short, horrible, sorry!
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Post by jessi on Jan 20, 2009 8:41:33 GMT 10
Paige Roberts
Paige felt her heart stop as he started to walk away. "Jackson wait!" she called after him, but he was already gone. She let out a loud sigh and held her tears back. What had she done? That's all she wanted to know. He'd just ended it without explaining ANYTHING to her. One day he loved her, the next he didn't. What on earth was going on? But that kiss, that one kiss had assured her that he still loved her.
If only she could just get him to come back to her, she'd be alright again. She knew it would be hard, but she still had hope. Running a hand through her hair, she walked to get her things, and then exited the theater. Now it was clear, Paige WOULD get him back. No matter what it took. She would sacrifice everything, to be able to call Jackson Cole her's once again. Perhaps she should speak to Catherine Fairfax, Jackson's best friend, and see what she had done. Maybe then she could fix it and make things right between them again.
It was a long shot, she didn't know if it would work. But she had to try. She knew that much. With her papers in her arms, she set off down the hall back towards her dorm room. All the while, thinking of a plan to get Jackson back. She loved him with all her heart and she wasn't about to stand by and watch some other girl with him in her arms. It killed her already just to think about it. The tears welled up in her eyes, and began to softly run down her cheeks. As she pushed through the double doors that led to the grounds, she was greeted by a harsh breeze of snow cold winds and shivered.
Quickly, she made her way towards the girls dorm. Her mind conflicted with what to do. She was so confused, and she could still feel the burn of his kiss. It didn't take her long before she disappeared through the doors of the girls dormitory.
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