Cigarettes and Cynics [OPEN]

[matt]

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure.

• • •

Who went to the movies alone anymore? Wasn’t there like some kind of law against being seen as vulnerable and lonely at a movie theater? There had to be a solid case somewhere where someone got jumped or raped and mugged while standing alone in front of a movie theatre. There just had to be. The odds of there really not being a single legal case were just not in favor. Why then did Matthew pay no mind to being alone? It didn’t seem to bother him any at all as he stood there, back against the wall nearest the door, standing next to the tube like ashtray that most people seemed to mistake for a trash can by the looks of what else sat inside of it.

The occasional smoker, Matt easily blended into the small crowd of people dotted along the front of the building sucking on the end of cigarettes and ashing onto the ground rather than into the ash tray. Matt, not so cruel, made sure his ashes landed in the appropriate place, not that he cared. It wasn’t as if ash wouldn’t eventually be swept away by wind or disappear when it rained next and mix with the dirt. It just seemed more proper to make sure the ashes landed where they actually belonged. Eyes raked the crowd of people leaving the movie, most likely the one he had just watched. Matt wasn’t afraid to attend a movie alone. Actually, he preferred it over seeing it with people who might talk to him while he was trying to pay attention. He’d left just minutes before the credits started so he could have a cigarette and now the rest of the movie patrons were on their way out.

He surveyed them as if they were a pack of wild animals, wrinkled his nose at the couples holding hands and sympathized with the kids who always walked two feet behind or ahead of their friends. He knew it was strange, yes, to include himself as part of a crowd of people he didn’t know, but wasn’t that how life was anyway? Mattie himself had been tossed into this new country with a group of kids he didn’t know and he included himself there so why not with these strangers too? Not that he would ever mesh perfectly into their mindless walk from the theater to their cars. He’d always stand out, at least to himself. Be it his messy hair or unshaven face, the scarf hung around his neck or the too loose jacket zipped around his frame. In his own eyes he would always be just a little different than the rest of this group.

Oh well, it was just a movie right? And he was just another guy with a cigarette, polite enough to use an ash tray. Maybe he wasn’t all that different.

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[neve]

Neve Clowes was not in the mood.

She wasn't in the mood for anyone's company. She wasn't in the mood to deal with any of these Seattle natives who thought they knew what a city was. She wasn't in the mood to deal with her insurance company, or her father. She wasn't at all in the mood to see a movie, but that's where she ended up in any case. Because mostly, she was in the mood to be alone. She had just totalled her Lexus, and decided to allow at least an hour or two of wallowing in self pity before calling the repair shop to see if they could fix it.

It wasn't at all in character for Neve to be so introverted and moody. She was generally a friendly, outgoing, all-around pleasant person. She rarely gave such regard to trivialities like a damaged car, which she knew she could easily get fixed. But it was that, on top of the fact that she completely despised her new school and city, that Neve felt the need to escape into the dark theatre and take some time to herself.

Unfortunately, when the show had ended and Neve stepped out into the blinding sun, she didn't feel a great deal better. In fact, the NYU sweatshirt she was wearing, which had shielded her against the biting cold of the morning was now over-heating her. What was with this bipolar Washington weather? Neve felt around in her chanel bag for the box of reds she had left on her bedside table earlier, and when she came up empty handed....

Well, Neve had really had enough that day. She resisted the urge to collapse into pathetic tears on the dirty sidewalk when something caught her eye. That something was a someone, and he had just ashed a cigarette. Making up her mind that some situations were desperate, she straightened her posture and approached him with poor attempt at a friendly smile. "Mind if I bum a smoke?" she asked him somewhat timidly.

[matt]

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure.

• • •

“If you don’t mind smoking the worst cigarette you’ll ever have.” Matt seemed to see the girl before she even spoke to him. That was in his nature though, always was. Women caught his attention and he could quickly calculate what kind of a chance he’d have with some of them. Today though, was slightly different. Matt was on no mission to scope out a girl to use. He just happened to notice Neve as he was scanning the crowds of different people. He spotted her walking toward him, pretty sure what she wanted. People in this country weren’t shy at all, were they? Or maybe Matt had just been such a loner back home that this was new to him. Oh well.

Considering he didn’t smoke a lot, Matt only bought cheap cigarettes. A pack would often last him two weeks, sometimes more. He didn’t smoke them when he was stressed or after sex or anything stupid like that. It seemed to be only when he needed an idea for a project or when he was incredibly bored. The latter of the reasons brought to light why he chose now to smoke. The movie hadn’t been so great and now Matt had to find something to do with the rest of his afternoon.

“You know, you really shouldn’t smoke.” Such a hypocrite. He pulled a cigarette out of the pack nestled in his pocket and extended it to the girl. “Makes you breath smell, and your hair, something awful. Even I feel bad after.” He just didn’t feel bad enough to really quit. After the cigarette, he produced a lighter, offering it to her as well.

“Here alone?”

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[neve]

Neve resisted the urge to inform him that she didn't care if it was the worst cigarette ever manufactured, so long as it was filled with nicotine and blacked her lungs. However, she rather thought this would put her in somewhat of a trashy light, so Neve only smiled as he fished out another cigarette from the box in his pocket, and took it gratefully when he held it out for her along with a lighter. She placed it between her lips and inhaled as the flame hit the other end, and took along, soothing drag. Sure, she knew smoking was a horrible habit, and often times not attractive in a woman...but she really wasn't smoking to please anyone else in the first place.

Neve exhaled and let the familiar sensation wash over her, and felt the first bit of anything near 'relaxed' she had that entire day. She listened to the boy's anti-smoking spiel, and nodded in agreement. She wondered what lecture she would have gotten if he had also known of her not-so-previous addiction to coke? In that, Neve was mildly interested...

No you don't, Neve, she scolded herself. Don't even think about that.

He asked her if she was here alone, and had been about to answer in the affirmative. However, her naturally flirty side took over, even though this boy seemed to her like he'd appreciate it very little. "Well, not anymore," she said to him, and took another drag. "That is, unless you're girlfriend's on a bathroom break, in which case I'd best be going. You're welcome to ditch her with me, darling."

Neve smiled as she handed the lighter back to him, and cocked her head slightly to the side. He really was attractive, when you looked at him well enough. Hell, he was attractive anyway.

[matt]

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure.

• • •

"Shit," Matt laughed, more to himself than at her. He shook his head and flicked his ashes again into the provided receptacle. It was unfortunate how used to this the male was. There was a chance he'd never really have know if he had feelings for a girl simply due to the fact that he was too busy fending some of them off and using the ones he found worthy. Even now, he didn't barely give Neve a second glance before shaking his head again and sucking a drag off the end of his cigarette. "No thanks, love. She's around somewhere. Surely not here, but she'd find out."

Of course, Matthew meant Cecelia. Sure, they weren't official or anything but Matt intended to make it that way as long as it benefited him. He was sure, though, that if he even stepped one toe out of line she'd hear abou it. Remembering back briefly to the innocent internet conversation she'd stumbled upon and how she'd reacted to that only cemented his belief. No, while he was still courting Cec he wouldn't even bother.

"Was just asking - figured I was the only person who saw films alone. What'd you see?" He could be curious, right? It wasn't often you found someone else who liked attending movies alone - or someone you could assume liked watching movies alone.

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[neve]

Eh, it had been worth a shot. Inwardly, Neve applauded his allegiance to this unknown woman. She was lucky, and Neve slightly envied her. Outwardly, she pouted. "Boo," she responded, but allowed a smile to twitch at the corners of her lips. She took another drag of her charity cigarette, which had turned out to be rather...well, not the best she'd ever have in her life.

"Was just asking - figured I was the only person who saw films alone. What'd you see?"

Neve was at a loss. What in the name of the good Lord had she seen? For the life of her, she couldn't remember, and it was rather embarassing. On the pretense of inhaling another puff of poison, Neve not-so-slyly checked the now playing list right outside the theatre. She exhaled and answered his question. "Body of Lies," she said convincingly.

It then occurred to her that she must have looked a bit...odd, coming out of the movie theatre alone. It was not something Neve was in the habit of doing, and truly, being alone in general was a situation Neve liked to avoid. Of course, he couldn't know who she was, or where she came from. He couldn't know that the car she had just crashed was priced at over her four-year tuition at NYU, which was currently being waisted the longer she was left to rot on the west coast. He couldn't know that she jetted off to venice, paris, or the bahamas whenever she got the itch. And in all honesty, she doubted that he cared. And truth be told; she wasn't quite sure she cared if he knew or not.

She extended a hand to him. "I'm Neve," she informed him, and left it at that.

[matt]

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure.

• • •

"Ahh," Matt nodded. He didn't really care if she was telling the truth or not, he was simply making small talk because she was standing there in similar space and he didn't quite want to go yet. He was busy smoking his cigarette and probably wouldn't leave until it was completely gone. In the time it took for that cigarette to burn he'd stand there and make awkward conversation with the girl. Who really gave a damn?

"Matthew," he replied, switching the cigarette to his left hand so he could reach over and shake the one she extended. "Matt, if you will. Nice to meet you." When he dropped the girl's hand he switched the cigarette back to his right hand and took another drag, letting the smoke flow from his nose afterward. "NYU, yeah? Go there, went there, or are you just one of those kids who likes supporting places you've never seen?" It was a legitimate question, after all. Matt would have never been caught dead wearing a WUoA shirt and he even attended school. He had a few shirts from there but they were mostly the ones he chose to paint in and most of them had flecks or drops or smears of paint all over them, definitely nothing he'd wear in public. One was even smeared with clay, saved for the days when Matt found experimenting with clay to be most entertaining.

"Sorry about the cigarette, too. They're sick. And cheap. I don't smoke much though, so... it figures."

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