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Post by juice on Dec 23, 2008 16:41:27 GMT 10
 I can feel you all around me; thickening the air that I am breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart's healing
She hated this month; hated it with a fiery passion. October was the worst month since her freshman year in high school. It was the month she'd lost her sister, her partner in crime, her best friend. Callie Vanderbilt had never truly gotten over the loss. She'd been through therapies and rehabs, but the grief wasn't out of her system. She didn't think that it would ever be. That was when the partying had found her and stuck with her. That was when she realized that life was too short to be a goody-goody forever. The young woman found out very quickly a way of escape. And that was drugs and alcohol. Although she'd quit one of the two, there was still the inklings. That was when she came outside and walked, cigarette between her fingers, her sky blue eyes turned downward.
Callie wrapped her black pea coat over her bare shoulders. She hadn't bothered getting too dressed up today. A white tank top and a pair of jeans. Yeah, she didn't plan on going anywhere until much later in the night. It was only mid-day and she didn't have any classes. That was when she started thinking about her sister. God, she missed Lizzy. Her blonde hair whipped around in the wind as she crossed the grounds and found a nice, placid bench to sit on. The senior inhaled her cigarette, looking at the trees and the grass that now surrounded her. Seattle wasn't much different than home.
She probably had tons of homework to do; she'd been falling behind from the excessive parties. Did Callie care? Of course not. Journalism wasn't that hard as it was, she'd get it done sooner than everyone else in the class. The girl was a procrastinator and usually put things off until the night or day that they were due. Oh well, as long as she turned it in, the professors weren't mad. Were they? Callie's work had steadily become sloppy and messy, and very few of her teachers bothered to ask her what was wrong. "Oh, I don't know," she would answer, "Rough night, I guess..." She left it at that. If they wanted to know more, they'd ask.
Suddenly, her phone began to vibrate. The journalist grimaced a little, seeing 'Home' flash on the screen. She hit the ignore button and slipped the phone back into her coat pocket. They always called around this time to check up on her. It wasn't like they cared; they just wanted to make sure she hadn't keeled over. Callie shook her head slightly, putting out her cigarette on the bench and tossing it away before pulling out another one. It was going to be one long afternoon.
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Post by reese on Dec 24, 2008 4:19:14 GMT 10
 ( BEAU CHRISTIAN BOURDEAUX )I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-- After running away to Italy for a year, Beau was having a hard time fitting himself back into the fabric of the school he had avoided for the last year. He could feel the memories of the past sneaking into the inner workings of his mind as he took a wrong turn that would lead him to a place where he had once taken Ana on a date. Damn memory, why can't you just stop working for once? Sure he was thankful for the fact that it took a lot for his brain to forget most of the time, but when the facts he was remembering caused this much hurt he would rather just ignore the world and move on. Why should he have to deal with this pain? None of it was his fault, he was the victim and yet he couldn't shake all the guilt he felt. Maybe it all was his fault, he was the catalyst or whatever. But he didn't want to admit that, so he ignored it. It was the only thing he could do in order to make it through the day to day. What else was he supposed to do? He obviously couldn't keep running, that hadn't worked at all in the last year, so he stopped running and came home. Now he regretted it like he had never regretted anything. He wanted to call up the jet, pack his bags, and get out of town. Again. He wanted that with every fiber of his being. But he wouldn't do that to his mother, he couldn't. He felt horrible the last time. This time he would suck it up, pull all his emotions back, and just deal. Even if he had to become a zombie he would do it.
-- Beau paused just inside the double doors of the building where he had his last class of the day and zipped up his jacket. It was getting colder by the day and he wasn't going to risk getting sick and ruining his voice, so he made sure to remain as warm as he could. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he listened to his iPod he had in one ear as he walked back to where he had parked his car for the day. The campus was fairly empty, most people being in classes at the moment and this was the time of day that he liked the most. When he could just be and not worry about someone stopping him and demanding to talk with him. Ever since he had gotten back that's how it had been. People wanting to know why he had left, where he had gone, if it was because of her. He didn't need those memories being brought to the surface. So he tried to ignore and avoid most people when he was going to and from classes. Because any other time he had his guitar with him or he was at a piano and then people just wanted to listen, not talk. Stopping in the middle of the walkway, and just stood there with his eyes turned up the the partly cloudy sky. He wondered if it would rain, seeing as this was Seattle and it did rain quite frequently. He liked the rain, it made him feel like everyone else had some idea of the situation he was going through every single day. Even if it was just a small glimpse. He also liked the rain just because it washed away everything. It was like an escape.
-- Heaving a sigh, Beau lowered his eyes back down to the walkway and began walking again. Slipping his hand out of his pant pocket, he slipped it into his coat pocket and began searching for his pack of cigarettes that he kept on him all the time, yet another habit he had picked up in Italy. Pulling the small box out, he shook one out and put it in his mouth before looking for his lighter. He searched all his pockets, starting with his coat and moving to his pants. Then he paused his walk and looked in his bag. After searching the entire thing, he cursed under his breath and pulled the object out of his mouth. "Fuck me," he muttered as he looked around hoping to find someone who might have a lighter on their person. Spotting a blonde girl who was currently smoking, Beau inwardly groaned and headed over to her. He hated having to ask for a light, but he really wanted to smoke right then. It was a habit his mom didn't approve of so he had to do it before he headed over to her house. Stopping just to the right of the bench the girl occupied, Beau cleared his throat and smiled. "Sorry to bother you, but do you think I could borrow your lighter? Seems I have misplaced mine," he explained, holding up the cigarette he had been planning on smoking but couldn't until it was lit.
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( STATUS ) finished
( RESERVED ) callie!
( WORDS ) 836
( NOTES ) opening song is 'flightless bird' by american mouth
( CLOTHES ) clicky
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Post by juice on Dec 24, 2008 7:14:56 GMT 10
I can feel you all around me; thickening the air that I am breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart's healing
Callie drummed her fingers on the bench, humming some forgotten tune that had somehow slipped into her mind. She lit the new cigarette in her mouth, inhaling and exhaling a few times to get the tip ignited. The girl kept humming, trying to figure out what song was in her mind. She usually didn't like to hum anything around the school; there was always someone questioning where it came from, who sang it, and if it was her own, original score. Well, that was what Callie got for choosing an arts school. At least it was far away from home. She was beginning to think that was the only reason she came out to Washington. It was so far away from Boston that she didn't have to interact with her past. And that was fine for the youngest Vanderbilt.
The girl slipped her lighter back into her coat pocket along with the smokes. It was times like this she wished she could slip back into the addictions she had when her sister died. Callie was so much more in control of herself. She could have her emotions in check with just a little snort or injection. But now it was everyone else and everything else that controlled how she felt. She hated it. She always felt bad around this time of year; it was normal. So why did she feel this bad right now? Callie cringed as she saw someone approaching her. Great. Was he here to tell her that she was humming off key? Or was he just here to ask her if she knew of any dorm parties tonight? Whichever it was, she didn't feel like dealing with it.
Glancing up at Beau, she registered his question as neither hostile nor critical. He just wanted to have a smoke. Callie smiled briefly, digging into her pockets and pulling out the small Bic. "Yeah, sure, I don't mind," she said, handing it over. "Have I seen you around here before?" She usually wasn't one for making small talk, but something about him made her want to talk to him. He seemed about as off-set in the world as she was now. And she didn't talk to anyone besides the people at parties. Maybe she had seen him around before...
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Post by reese on Dec 27, 2008 5:00:46 GMT 10
( BEAU CHRISTIAN BOURDEAUX )I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-- Socializing without a beer in his hand wasn't something Beau really liked to do. In fact he really would rather stay as far away from people as he could. It was something he did because he had to, because his parents had a name that he had to live up to. Not because he wanted to make friends, remember some of the best days of his life, or even just to meet people. He hated it. There were times he did it because he needed a release and what better way then sex? And there were times he did it because he needed some information for class, or something else of consequence. But he never did it just because. So for him to walk up to some random girl he had seen here or there, and ask them for a light wasn't a chance to get to know someone. But she looked like she hated being in this world as much as he did right about then, so he felt a pull towards her that he didn't feel toward anyone else. Ever. Yes, he had an agenda as he walked over to the blonde girl. And yes, he had no intention of striking up a conversation. But maybe, just maybe, he could have found someone who was just as antisocial as he was internally despite how often he acted other wise.
-- Smiling his thanks, Beau reached out and took the lighter from her. He made quick work of placing the cigarette between his lips and bringing the flame to the tip of the object. The moment the flame touched the end, Beau took a deep breath and released the flame, effectively shutting it off as he took in the smoke from the now lit cigarette. It was already doing wonders for his ragged nerves. "Thank you so much," he said, handing back the borrowed lighter before glancing at the empty seat next to her curiously. He wondered if she would mind him sitting down for a moment and was going ask, but then she asked him a question so he figured she wouldn't mind too badly if he did. Gingerly sitting next to her, keeping space between them so not to make her uncomfortable, he removed his bag and set it at his feet. "Well, you might have. I just spent the last year going to school in Italy," Beau told her as he leaned back a little and glanced over at her. Taking a pull of the cigarette, he held the smoke in for a moment before breathing it out in front of him. "But I was around the year before that. So as long as last year wasn't your first year here, there is a grand possibility that you could have spotted me around before." He made light of the situation, of the fact that he had gone to Italy to escape memories and pain, but there was nothing light about any of it. It was a whole hell of a lot of pain and he wanted nothing more then to escape it all.
-- Glancing over at the girl, he looked her over and noticed that she seemed a little sad. He was always good at reading people, it was a hidden talent of his, but he usually just kept it to himself. "I'm Beau," he said, looking back out to the campus. He wasn't forcing her to tell him who she was, but he offered his name up anyways. It seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. And since she had given him a light, it was the least he could do to be friendly, right? Right. He took a long drag from the cigarette and slowly blew out the smoke as he watched a younger man run across campus with his bag bouncing and barely hanging onto the pile of books in his hands. "Freshman," he muttered under his breath as he watched the guy. It was funny. The guy had no idea what he was doing and sadly enough for him it was completely obvious that it was that way. Poor guy. Beau was glad that had never been him. Even back before everything happened, he was always too laid back to become frantic about anything. And he loved to watch other not know what to so with themselves most of the time. If only they knew how incredibly awkward they looked. It was a shame for them, but not for him.
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( STATUS ) finished
( RESERVED ) callie!
( WORDS ) 751
( NOTES ) sorry it took so long love, busy time of year
( CLOTHES ) clicky
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Post by juice on Dec 29, 2008 18:22:42 GMT 10
I can feel you all around me; thickening the air that I am breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart's healing
Parties were the one place in Callie's life where she truly felt in control. She controlled how much booze was in her system, which controlled her level of happiness, which controlled as to how her night went. If she put too much in, it would either be very good or very bad. If she left it out all together, it was certain that it was going to be a bad night. Shit, it took a lot to get the girl drunk now. She'd built up an immunity to certain alcohols and the amounts in which she could consume. The twenty-one year old already had it down to a science. She'd had it down since her freshman year here. It was best to get that sort of thing out of the way first and not leave it for the rest of her life. College was about the partying, the social events, and whoever came around with it. Whether it be great friends, killer hotties, or back stabbing bitches, Callie had learned a great deal from her first three years. It was only now that she really had to push herself academically.
She inhaled her cigarette with interest, watching him light his own with a quick flick. It was easy to tell who smoked for pleasure and who smoked 'just because'. He, obviously, was one of the few who actually smoked for an escape, an outlet. It was rare to find one of those. "It's no problem," she said simply, taking back the lighter and putting it in her pocket. It really wasn't. A little lighter fluid in exchange for some company. Well, it wasn't all that bad. Callie chuckled slightly. "I'm sure I've seen you around. This is my fourth year," she wondered why he'd gone to Italy, but decided not to pry. If he wasn't going to open up her business, she sure as hell wasn't going to mill around his. Everyone had their own way of coping. And theirs? Well, it was obviously smoking.
"Callie, Callie Vanderbilt," she responded to his offer of names. The girl didn't need nor want background information, simply deciding that 'I needed a light, so I asked' as a good alibi. It was probably better that she didn't socialize too in depth with the boy. It might get her too worked up over nothing. Callie tended to be over-emotional during this time of the year. She took a drag on her cigarette, laughing slightly as she spotted the poor freshman making his way across the grounds. "God, I don't think I looked that stupid when I was a freshman..." Callie exhaled the remaining smoke in her lungs. "At least, I hope I didn't."
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Post by reese on Dec 30, 2008 8:09:50 GMT 10
( BEAU CHRISTIAN BOURDEAUX )I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-- Beau didn't want to seem rude and he certainly was raised to be anything but, but she really didn't seem all that familiar to him. Of course, when he had been a freshman, he had been incredibly self involved so it was no surprise that he didn't really notice. He had a girlfriend, his best friend, and was enrolled in an amazing music program that was testing his limits. Odds were he never would have realized there was another female within twenty feet of him, let alone on campus period. "Major?" He questioned her as simply as he could. They weren't really there to socialize. He wasn't in the mood to have a full blown conversation, but he was interested in talk with her a little bit. She hadn't made him uncomfortable and she had yet to treat him as though he made her uneasy. So he had sat and relaxed a little. And why the hell not? He sure as hell had no where else to go except home, or maybe to play a little on one of the many pianos they had on campus. Of course the one he had at home was much better then the ones they had here, but when he would rather not be at home they would do.
-- Taking a moment to look over at her again, he tapped off the ash at the end of the cigarette and nodded. "Well, in case we haven't met before. It's nice to make your acquaintance, Callie Vanderbilt." He gave her a nod and a small, crooked smile before putting the cigarette back to his lips and taking a pull. He leaned forward, arms resting on his thighs as he smoked and watched the obvious freshman walk across campus. "I think sadly enough, we've all looked like that at some point in our lives. Mine was in high school. Freshman year, I could get my locker to open my first day and had to carry all my books around because of it." He laughed lightly at the memory and shook his head. He had enjoyed high school once he was able to open his locker.
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( STATUS ) not finished, close but no cigar
( RESERVED ) callie!
( WORDS ) - - -
( NOTES ) it's coming i promise, i'm almost done but i have to run an errand
( CLOTHES ) clicky
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